This photograph is part of a documentary project that I took in 2024 when I returned to my hometown in Xingtai, Hebei (one of China's least developed regions). While China's registration policy assigns my region of residence to 'Hebei,' but I was actually born and raised in 'Beijing.' This strong sense of regional division complicates my identity, making me feel disconnected from both places.
Since I left for Japan in 2019 to continue my studies, the pandemic made me impossible to return home for years, leading to an ambiguous sense of belonging. During a phone call, my grandmother said, "I wonder if I'll still be here when you come back next time." Her words, as well seeing her ageing day by day, made me have a strong desire to document their daily lives.
During this trip, I recorded meaningful scenes that are difficult to see in big cities: my grandmother cooking with firewood, a neighbor’s funeral during Chinese New Year, and the dilapidated houses left behind by the mass exodus of young people.
One of them, “Chinese New Year, Cattle and Staring”, is an accidental shot from a camera malfunction with multiple exposures. This photo combines the landscape and cattle (which have a spiritual nature in my hometown). Although my family doesn't show up directly in the photo, but it evokes the festival feeling of Chinese New Year and the essence of my hometown.
Through this project, I hope to evoke a sense of reflection on life, death and the passage of time, which is my connection to my roots, a process of going back to my origins to explore myself.